January 14, 2010President gave me permission to e-mail you guys today because the funeral is on Saturday! Whoa. What a day Wednesday was! We had a zone meeting in Orange Park, it was really good , really spiritual. We went and got some subway than tracted for hours and hours. Sometimes it gets a little tough to keep on going but yesterday was really easy. It was a pretty cool day. Later that night we have been working with this guy named John Vinson and we finally were able to take his cigarettes and really get going. He has a date for this Sunday but wasn’t really progressing as fast as he should be. But he knows that it’s true. I had kinda had it with him lol. I knew that he knew that it was true and I was done playing around with him lol. I asked him which team he wanted to play for God's or the devils? And he said God's. And I said every time you smoke or drink you're on the sidelines and you're not really playing on His team! That worked. Everyone down here is all crazy about College Football so that helped using that!! Did some other stuff and we pulled in and I’m looking around and I see another Toyota with a bike rack on it and I’m thinking who else is here and we get out and it’s the Zone Leaders. They walk in with us and Elder Williams is like Elder we need to talk and I’m thinking uh oh did I do something wrong. Couldn’t really think of anything and he cuts right to the chase and says that he’s received a phone call from President Newman and that something bad happened back at home. He starts telling me and I stick my hand out like no I don’t even wanna hear it. I knew it was something really bad because this is what happens when someone dies on the mission. He just hurries and gets it out and says that your Grandpa Black has passed away!!! Ugh I’m just sitting there trying to process what I just heard and he gives me a few of the details and it’s all starting to register in my head. Well, it does and I’m just sitting there and the first thing that pops into my head is "He made it, He did it !!" And I get up and he gives me a hug and the hugs over and then BOOM it just hits me and I just start crying my face off, for like probably like 20 mins. I would stop and we would talk for a second and then just start crying again and tells me that it was right after the setting apart of Spencer. Crazy how God has His hand in all things like this. Elder Trott and Williams gave me a blessing last night and this whole time while he told me and while this was all going on the veil seemed really thin. It was actually kinda cool but I really felt like when they were giving me the blessing that Grandpa and the Savior had their hands on me too. I talked to President after and he said that it was right after everyone had taken pictures and everything. He told me that he had a series of aneurisms and that just one is fatal but he had a series of them. He told me that he and mom both thought that Heavenly Father was making sure that Grandpa was passing through and not gonna have to live with this. I feel the same too.It was a really tough night last night and its been a pretty rough morning so far. I got Rachel’s email and I was a complete mess while reading it. Ugh all the memories just start flooding in. I was thinking about it and it was cool that Grandpa Black was the only one that I talked to besides you guys on Christmas. I’m really glad that I was able to talk to him one last time. It's really hard right now to say anything. I wrote a 4 page journal this morning, I’m just a mess. O man!!! Thinking about all the memories of mowing the lawn the past few years. It would be really hot and he would still come out and we would sit and have a coke and just talk about whatever from the jazz, preparing for my mission, school, anything and everything. I NEVER was excited to leave. And the countless hours of playing Rummikub. I finally was able to beat him a few times, he would always say that I cheated or that he wasn’t even trying and didn’t want me to cry so he let me win lol!! He would always come to our games and support us in what we were doing. I thought I was his favorite grandkid until Rachel or someone said that they thought the same thing too. I'm sure Travis thought the same thing and he’s only been around for a few years lol!! Just shows how much everyone loved him and how he loved everyone! I was able to go to the Mt. Timpanogas Temple with Grandma and Grandpa right before I left and the 3 of us took a picture in front and that picture has been in front of all my pictures since the day that Grandma sent it to me in the mail. Such an amazing person. He treated Grandma Black perfect and showed us young guys how we’re supposed to be when we get married. The Sunday drives were always good we would be in the middle of no where and he would see like a bird or a cow or like an empty house and he would start singing a song about birds, cows, or empty houses and they would always rhyme so perfectly! To this day I don’t know if he was just making them up or if they were actual songs!!! All the trips to Vegas were amazing, We were able to go to the nicest hotels and swim and just lose ourselves in the buffets. He would always make things so entertaining, when at first they didn’t appear to be. I love him, I was his buddy and he is the ultimate hero and role model, someone I strive to be like every day. Showed us all what enduring to the very end looks like!! I can’t think of enough to say, he changed my life and even my mission from the encouraging advice he gave me only weeks ago and now passing away. I know that he isn't doing much resting on the other side but is helping the work move forward, I know he is gonna be helping me down here in the south and softening the hearts of the people. He's in a much better place right now and doesn’t have to worry about the cares of the world!!! So what's Grandma gonna do? Is she gonna be living by herself or what? If I was there I would giver her a huge hug right now!! Grandma, I love you so much everything is gonna be okay!! I feel horrible I was supposed to write a thank you card for a few weeks and now I’m kicking myself that I didn’t do it. I'm sure he knows how grateful I was for that but it’s tough knowing that I didn’t send it off sooner!! I don’t even know how to end this email its really tough you just don’t know what you got til it’s gone. This is going to positively change my mission. Up until this point I’ve taken it very seriously as far as wanting to do good and I’ve been blessed to see things happen. But I just wanna be a better missionary, a better person now. He did so much for so many people. There’s even more incentive now to make it to the Celestial Kingdom because we know that’s where Grandpa is gonna be!!! ahh this is tough I really don’t know how to end this, but I love you. All stay strong. Hopefully this will bring the whole family together again! But I’ll hear from you all soon and know that I’m okay but its gonna be tough the next few days. But its gonna be good!! Love, Elder Robby Jackson
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